And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
