ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
