their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
