Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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