I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
