so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
