I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
