dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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