so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
