Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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