I'm really into asian looking animals
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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