Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
