bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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