i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
