There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
