one might say we're banned from that church
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Oh god it's open bar.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
