and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
