we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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