Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
