I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
