just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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