after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize