idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my vag is so smooth its legendary
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
