I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize