i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
