I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
