It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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