help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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