After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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