I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
