dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
