I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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