There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
