I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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