OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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