Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
