bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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