This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
