Duck Duck Cougar?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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