Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
