beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
