It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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