He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
