Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
