i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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