did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
