the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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