I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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