his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
