even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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