if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize