I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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