i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
