Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
