I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize