I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
