Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
