Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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