I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Someone signed my nipple.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
