remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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