Small penises have feelings too.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
