Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize