If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
