Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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