why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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